Glass Eyes, Bed Bugs, Horses in traffic....all in a day!

Chaos Chaos Chaos has been my life the last month. I have had to work in the "real office" instead of my home office. That has added about 2 hours to my day. Crazy end of school year, here there everywhere. Yet the lack of excitement flame will never burn out! I am back.

I laughed so hard to myself yesterday as a friend said to me with a straight poker face "so - your work now is like the movie Precious?" Yes that is very spot on to an extent with the addition that my patient are usually dying.
I have a day a few weeks ago that I thought I had seen and heard it all. But its me right? Everyday is a new day.

So I go to a older woman's dorm room like dwelling to see her as she just got out of the hospital. Now most of my people have some sort of physiological component, so she was no different. (wrong) I am talking......and she says she has "Bed bugs" Ok - Sure you do, and I go on.......I start to see little roaches strutting across the stove and the counter, and I say "oh! I see you have some critters....are these the bugs you are talking about?" "No Honey-those are roaches. I got bed bugs" Dear 8lb baby Jesus she now thinks I am an idiot. So her son who reeks of alcohol shows me the underside of the bed. Holy SHIT she does have them. Thousands!!!!! My first purely selfish thought - I am gonna get them!!!!!NO. NO. NO. So I finish as quick as humanly possible itching the entire time. I leave.

I then go see a guy with a glass eye that I could not stop starring at. Still itching and convinced I now have a infestation of bedbugs on my person in my bag, and anywhere else the little fockers are hiding. I end that visit.....

Now I am on my way home determined not to bring them home I deliberate in the traffic. I think of all the horrid 20/20 specials, Internet scare tactics, news shows and on and on about these bastard bugs. I sit with Bruce's top down, thinking maybe the sun will just burn them. Well I indeed received a nice sun burn on the left side of my arm/face. I am in traffic..... and I am thinking about the day, how am I going to eradicate this woman's bug infestation, glass eye....damn they did a good job on that one. The smell of my sunburn coming on, I think I still have to document all this shit on my laptop, but I cannot bring my bag inside my house! I must stop somewhere on the way home. Starbucks! Yes great idea a coffee my laptop and the bugs can release themselves into the coffee house. Yes I know this is wrong....but what if I didn't know? I look up and I shit you not, in the middle of all the traffic coming against traffic in the CITY, was a young man - not police man hauling ass in a full gallop on a horse. I sit in my car cracking up out loud. I have seen it all. But I know I have not.

I go to Starbucks, disrobe in the car as much as possible and scour myself in the shower. No bedbugs came into my home. I did get the woman a new bed, had all her clothes cleaned. Her place was professionally de-bugged 3 times. I feel good about it and she does to. She can sleep at night. Never will I underestimate what someone tells me. Or automatically assume they are a wee bit bonkers.  You know if I ever loose a eye......I feel good that my fake glass eye will look as good as the man I saw that day. I still cannot get over how real it looked.

Who knows what my next adventure will bring, but it will be hard to top a full galloping horse in city traffic.......