One might say I am not the most conventional writer. I am not, this is true. I have written for years, as part of dealing with stress (therapist suggested some years ago) anyway to much chagrin, there is a great deal of humor that goes along with my life. I can embrace it, or lay in the fetal position taking a multitude of drugs while covered in a quilt. We will revisit that later.
Anyway.....typical day. Buzz Buzz Buzz.....Snooze......Buzz Buzz Buzz....Snooze, yeah about a hour of this. Get kids up, get myself ready for my outing "in the field" this means me going to see patients that are on government assistance. Lets also just say its the highest crime laden area of town. Mini Cooper (Bruce) keeps me safe, most unpractical car ever, however "cute". It shines like a huge neon sign......I don't belong here, please don't try and sell me drugs, or better yet rob me.
I pull up to a known crack apartment complex, and sit. Can I do this? Should I do this? Why in the hell am I doing this? I get out and wander around until I find the correct apartment.
Knock Knock on the door, wait. Ferrel cats are wandering around meowing. Poor crack cats. The door opens and a voice says "come on in" Hmmmm yeah. So I do. Why? I am a RN and its my job, a patient is inside that I need to see, not to deliver care like home health (that would be sensible right?), but to do an assessment for the state. Of course "he" is in the back room of the apartment....Wishing I had a gun ready, however due to job regulations, I am not allowed to carry one "inside patients homes". I go on back to find a paraplegic in the bed, pretty well naked, not pretty well, but well naked. Poop bag, urine bag check, kinda like jewery. Nice.... that burned into my brain. At least this poop bag was not sealed to the abdomen via "Wonderbread bag and ducktape" I walk over and sit in a chair. I glance around the room only to notice a bedside table with a large ashtray, 2 guns, a large kitchen knife, and wow, a large can of generic Roach spray. I start to absorb the smell of chain smoking, an unidentifiable odor I cannot pinpoint. I do my assessment. I glance down 30 minutes in and notice a slew, yes a slew of German cockroaches. I wrap it up now in 30 seconds. Bam! back to the car, bathing in hand sanitizer to the point I probably would fail a breath a lizer. Onto the next stop..... a shanty, yes people a shanty. A whopping 200 square feet of 2 bedroom luxury. I am watching the "workin girls" walk the street, and wondering how do they make money....? I enter the Shanty after I notice - people- a freaking old rusted carnival carousel in the side yard. I remind myself I am not in the twilight zone. Mice (also we can revisit my paranoia of mice later), a trash can size box of mothballs wide open. Where does one even find a trash can size box of mothballs? I continue with my questions, check out the house (shanty), then get back in the car. My day is done at this point. I will get home, strip to nothing at the front door placing my clothes straight into the wash. I now will have about 60 pages of state forms to fill out.
You might ask why? I ask the same thing. Its my quest to fill the passion in my heart for ill people. I see a new way of life everyday. It disturbs and rattles the cage inside my soul at times. The sights can be quite haunting. Some insane moments are filled with inappropriate laughter. Some filled with tears. I still ask why?
My nursing career has been very eventful. Trauma, holding a human heart in my hand, talking to a patient thats awake during brain surgery. Maggots in wounds. (that we will revisit). Making people better "one dick at a time" from the mouth of a urologist. Holding the hand of a hospice member as they die, when no family is there. Death clean up and body bags. Telling a family their loved one has not made it. CPR not on a dummy. Laughing hysterically during 10 hour marathon plastic surgery cases. Sitting up and down the patient to make sure her "boobs" are perfect. Dead bowel surgery that I vomited the entire surgery into my mask. Cochlear implants, and watching kids hear for the first time. Getting written up for making a fake turd. Was not my fault it was wrapped in a blanket, and a super anal nurse accidentally laid it on a patient. (Holy cow that was funny). Delivery babies-7.
That is just some of what I have done, and the most rewarding is what I do now. Going to the ghetto, internally screaming while I speak calmly to the ones who need me. So many suck the system we call healthcare. Despite all the bad apples, there are true gems that need a advocate and a person to fight for them. That is me.
This is my rambling all over the map first attempt at a blog. Its real, it sucks, it will make you think. I hope some find it funny at times. It is only the beginning.
Keep smiling.
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