I am sure you concluded....I was picked.

I take the park and ride to downtown..... per the advice of the trusty bus driver I get off where he suggests for Jury Duty. Hmmm 12 blocks is not close. So I arrive late. Rushed and sweating, schlepping my prepared bag that weighs over 15lbs (yes I weighed myself holding it). Get comfy and think, I will get to read, do some computer work etc...ride the clock in the large assembly room. Um wrong. I am chosen from the 1st group for jury pooling. So we line up...36 of us and walk through our nice underground tunnels system. (not for the claustrophobic) For what seems like block after block. I feel like I am enduring a cardio stress test. Part anxiety being in the tunnel underground, heavy bag, shoes starting to wear blisters.....yada yada - an hour later I am one of the 12 chosen out of the 36. YES!!!! Wait is this a good thing?

Two days of law and order it was not. Nor Judge Judy. It was real raw sad bantering. Boring. Until some drama starts on the witness stand, the defendant's witness is a man who looks like a 70's porn star. Bad Bad mullet perm! Yes I know it was horrid. Well the defense attorney whom we shall call "Mumbles" as he spoke (head down toward the floor). Embarrassingly the poor court reporter kept asking him to repeat what he was saying. The witness mullet perm porno guy is yelling, fighting with his own attorney. Some laughter actually came from the jury box. No I was not part of it. However I did smile, the Judge winked at me. I was the special juror. WTF ever, he was in his own judge way trying to say "I understand your pain". OK done for the day......Of to the bus home. Fuck!!! Its like 12 blocks away, 15+ pound bag and bleeding blisters I walk around downtown wanting to cry and seriously contemplating stopping into a bar to down a few shots. I found the bus, rode home.

This morning, no bag, much better shoes, map of downtown, spare band aids in case the ones already on my feet come off. I was so impressed with my timing I was 30 minutes early!! For those whom know me....understand this is huge! I am never on time...ever. I proceed to go through the wrong metal detector....I have to take off much of my attire, and this in line sucked up 20 of my early minutes. Grab a breakfast taco and Starbucks and blamo - back to the jury room. We go back in, question after question....the defendant is on the stand and I honestly think we all would have stood up and said "objection" or " ANSWER YES or Fucking NO!!!" We actually spoke of that in deliberation.....man it was SO HARD not to raise your hand to yell at that guilty SAMF.

 

Now is is time, FINALLY time to get to talk about the case. Up until this point we were told not to speak of the case to anyone. But now in the jury deliberation chambers (Prison cell) we are locked in, no phone, no cell phones, no computer, no anything but us and the "book of evidence" Exhibit 1-50+......Oh coffee pot, Water cooler and men, and women's bathroom. Nice really that close....Yes. So it begins.........

This was not what I thought would happen. All 12 of up talking at once, some yelling (yea guilty) we all agree the defendant is guilty.....but cannot come to terms with the questions we have been instructed to answer. Fist pounding on the table, pointing, slamming down notes. Feverish writing on the dry erase board. Two deer in the headlight looking jurors.....I buzz for the bailiff. Can you make it cooler in here? No. I am red, red ears, redneck, pissed and have had too much coffee. Plus the Cuban Taco I had at lunch is killing my GI tract. But NO way, not with a gun to my head would I "Take care of that" in the bathroom in the room......I am now SO ready to call it a day. Info overload, we are at a stand off pissing match. Myself and 4 men. Just interrupting each other and yelling at how the other is wrong. I was getting hyped up, and can now understand how people just start a bar brawl. Now that we realize we are arguing to the death on question #3, the answer we are all yelling about is for question #5. We all get our way and agree. Now high fiving is occurring, we came to a verdict, have double buzzed (cool jury term). Man----Talk about rapid cycle bipolar moments.

We call the defendant guilty with the max on all offenses. Unanimous vote. The defence is still not happy, they want us all to swear under oath that our answers are what we say they are. I am pissed at this, yet proceed to embarrass myself in giving my full name Molly M. Ringwald RN. Yes I used Registered Nurse.

Group picture taken by the artist from our group whom owns a gallery near the courts, exchange goodbyes, and off for 16 blocks. I needed a compass. And YES Walter I used my GPS this time walking..........

I told the judge "I could do this every month!!"

We shall see if I feel the same next summons.