The joy of marriage.

Some years ago.....over a decade I married Walter. Don't get me wrong we have had our many shares of ups and downs, around the bush, up the tree, swim from Alcatraz to now.

It started with a beautiful proposal, of which my insanely $$ engagement ring fell through the slats on the wooden porch that night leaving us to dig and hunt to find it and I loved it! I was engaged!!!!

Here comes the "only me" parts. Day of the wedding.....I am dressed, ready guests are being seated on the balcony of a historic plantation style mansion. Its very cold outside and the heat is not working. Nice everyone is freaking freezing waiting.

Update.....oh by the way, the DJ, Cake, and something else was not there. Shit! I kick up my heels and start drinking, this is going down bad I can tell. Why!!?? OK now its time......Shit I am buzzed

I grab my dad's arm for dear life and stability and start down the isle.....wait what do I hear? No not the music that was playing....no something else.....Walter was standing proud crying at the alter loud! Sup Supping....Jesus really? Then my mother....yes she was sober I think crying also. Dammit!!! Between those two they needed a corner to cuddle and cry. Some how a used tissue lands on my train, and its a creme orange color....tissue not my dress. Nice. My maid of honor looked at it with horror yet let it just hang out on my dress.
We say our vows and exchange rings. We are DONE and Married!!! Now off to the brides room for the girls to bustle my gown right? Not! they were down guzzling booze and eating shrimp brochette. So it was Walter who bustled my gown.
We had catered Pappasitos, Damn it was good. We danced, oh yeah my first dance with my new hubby....my father cuts in not 30 seconds into it. Walter whispers "does he not know he has his own song?!"
Fast forward.....off to the airport from wedding, that was the only way I was getting on a plane. I used to be dreadfully scared to fly. Walter didn't believe me until my drunk ass is at the boarding gate with my bridal up do, crying in hysterics! We are all gonna die! I even called my father to get me as I could not get on the plane. Walter says "You really are scared to fly" No shit! I had been saying so for a fucking year! They upgraded us to 1st class, I was unable to get anyone to come get me, so I was married now I will go die.

Wow 1st class can change your opinion of flying, I was good. We get to Breckenridge Colorado for our ski trip. Short story, I acquire severe altitude sickness, in the hospital where I am going into pulmonary edema, and my blood pressure was 70/palp. I was sick sick. Walter takes A SINGLE snowboard lesson and breaks his tail bone. Son of a Bitch we were a team man!

We get back, and in the 36 hours from wedding to back home my landlord had left me a message that his daughter was getting married and wanted to live in the house, we were just given a 30 day notice.

Well we moved into a small 1 bedroom apartment. (Our neighbors screwed like rabbits every day) you could hear everything through the wall. Well with Walter's broken tailbone.....we were ugh married but not indulging in marital duties if you will for about 6 weeks. I know this just gets worse huh?

I have endometriosis, poly cystic ovarian, and had cervical cancer and the majority of my cervix was removed. Thus the probability of getting pregnant and carrying a baby was....not real good. Poor to never per my OB/Gyn. So we tried. Guess what Preggo. First try, and in this apartment with a 2 year lease. I put away our marriage licence for safe keeping, still cannot find it. Really its pretty safe.

Went on bed rest at 4 months.....only to lay and listen to the MF-ing neighbors screw every day.....Hate them.

Fast forward.....Walter's tail bone still gives him a hard time. For the last week he has been looking for his wedding ring. He took it off......cannot find it. So I give him a hard time. He reminds me of the marriage license. Maybe the two are together.

I have left SO much out, but with just that you do get the picture. I would not trade one thing. Its us. Well I would change one small detail of the wedding.....at Walter's bachelor party - you see he came home with a huge hickey on his neck from a stripper. My issue with it.....its in all of our wedding pictures! I did however have a bite mark on my neck front and center, at La Bare I place a dollar in my cleavage and the stripper whom I remember to look like Maks took it out with his teeth! Catching my neck, he immediately apologized, and off to the bathroom to check the damage. Fuck! Thank you to my grandmother nanny who allowed my to wear a original strand of Mikimoto Pearls my grandfather brought back from the Korean war. Covered the mark just fine!......Never happened.